Fashion Review: Women's Wedged Sandals

It's that time again in the NYC. If there is one feeling that remains from my days back at Villanova, it's the goddamn-spring-is-here-again-girls-in-their-summer-clothes-fashion parade that is currently in bloom all up and down the streets of all the five boroughs. Sadly, for roughly the last five years a fashion trend has arrived that is so hideous that it can render the most beautiful woman unattractive. Or goat like. I am talking about wedged sandals. It has gotten to the point where I predict that my next bicycle accident will either occur while attempting to do handclaps to a song that I'm listening to and let go of the wheels or become distracted by checking out some ravishing young woman's shoes, praying they aren't wedged sandals.

Don't even get me started on how I feel about Tori Birch flats. Ok they look like reverse tap shoes. I digress.

The Classically Heinous Wedged Sandal:

The Jersey Wedge: The I Spent A Lot of Money But Still Look Like Like I have Hooves Wedge:

The Fifties Greaser in Jamaica Wedge: Basically, when I see a pretty girl in these dastardly sandals I can't help but think they look like this:

Is the wedged sandal the female version of the goatee? That is, do humans have some secret desire to mimic goats or look like Satyrs? Are goats more attractive than I've been giving them credit for? Only time will tell, and the Siblog won't sleep until he gets the answers.

Silly List Review: WOXY's Modern Rock 500

Props to Stereogum for pointing out yet another desultory list of songs purporting to rate Every Good Song There is. Apparently over Memorial Day, WOXY counted down the top 500 Modern Rock songs. It's called the 2008 Modern Rock Countdown but the number one song is Radiohead's 90's classic "Creep." I guess that is around when the term Modern Rock became the euphemism for white guys in rock oriented guitar bands, of which this list is dominated by. Although this must have been fun to listen to, the rankings make it completely impossible to understand how they compiled this list. Has Arcade Fire's "No Cars Go" really toppled Matthew Sweet's "Sick of Myself"? It doesn't matter: they both fall in the 400's. Harvey Danger's "Flagpole Sitta" is cushioned next to Gnarls Barkley's minor hit, "Crazy" at 419 and 418, respectively. I feel like Gnarls might be getting punished on this list for not being ROCK enough. It isn't based on airplay since Doves and Spiritualized are about ten or so spots higher and have probably never been played on any modern rock station in the US. And Weezer's "Say It Ain't So" is lower than the National (and in the 300's)? It doesn't even matter what National song!

Every once in awhile they pair up two songs that would make me giggle. Like the Strokes and Urge Overkill. Imagine if they shared a bathroom! So much hairspray! So little shampoo!

They did get some things right: they included lots of radio-regulars that I love; e.g. McLusky and XTC. Built to Spill's indie power pop classic "Big Dipper" made the list... for the first time this year. Fifteen years and Doug can finally feel like he made it.

Check out the list for yourself here and feel free to leave the most egregious errors in the comments.

Talk Show Host Review: Kevin James

Not to be confused with this guy. Apparently there is a neo-con radio talk show host named Kevin James and Chris Matthews embarrassed him live on Hardball. It's a bit long but worth it because Chris gets increasingly nasty as it becomes pathetically obvious that Kevin has no idea what he is talking about. Like the hardcore republican he is, James basically repeats the same phrases over and over and hopes they stick.

Biker Review: Jimmy Dean

Spotted: Middle-aged man trudging up the Brooklyn Bridge towards Manhattan at 8:45am on Monday, May 19, 2008. His standard ten speed bicycle is protocol but the deep basket behind the seat holds the big reveal: not one, but two packages of Jimmy Dean microwaveable breakfast sausages and nothing else.

This makes me wonder... is there a lucky lady somewhere on the island of Manhattan who is currently chowing down on a delicious and delivered breakfast sausage? Or is middle-aged man with the basket the world's greatest co-worker? Could it be possible that there is a corner of our city that has remained immune to the Jimmy Dean frozen aisle takeover and now needs their sausage fix imported from the outer boroughs?

If you see this middle-aged man, now dubbed Jimmy Dean, please contact the Siblog immediately.

Sibling Review: Matt Siblo(g)

Why it pays to be a Siblo(g).

Sample text message from Matt, Sunday May 18, 2008 at 11:47am:

"Let's go see Rancid together?"

Rancid are touring on a B sides and C sides record. Can you imagine what a Rancid C Side must sound like? I couldn't but now I think it sounds like "Devil's Dance" on their Myspace page.

Will we see them as part of their five night stint at Irving Plaza? Or watch them as they wax political in our nation's capital? Imagine the sophomoric between song rants against the GOP!

Song Review: Raekwon featuring Ghostface Killah, "Jihad"

When I originally downloaded this track from the sublime hip hop blog, Nah Right, it had the title "Necro" but was later changed to "The Jihad." It matters not though since this leaked track from the perpetually forthcoming, Only Built for Cuban Linx II, presumably produced by Dr. Dre, has Ghostface's best verse since Fishscale. Raekwon's first verse is serviceable but unimpressive. Pretty Toney decides to save the song by using the chanting choir to offset his brilliantly filthy narrative. Does he really drink straight Bailey's? Will he ever finish the demented screenplay I know he has in him? Only time will tell. In the meantime, bump this when no one is listening and smile.

Download: Raekwon the chef featuring Ghostface- "Jihad"

**UPDATE: It seems that the song is produced by Necro and although Dre has worked on other OBFCLII tracks, this is not one of them. It's still bomb-omb.**

Happy May 16th!

Let's Talk About Nostalgia.

Lagwagon, "May 16th", Live 1998:

Addiction Review: Bon Iver's "For Emma, Forever Ago"

In late January, somewhere in the depths of Newark, NJ, I became acquainted with Bon Iver. In one of those Oh Shit moments where syncronicity runs amuck, my wonderful brother, Matt Siblo(g), had mentioned his adoration of an album by Bon Iver roughly one day before I heard a song on NPR I instantly liked. And what do you know, that song was by Bon Iver. That song, "For Emma" was a country tinged, horn laden ballad with gently driving acoustic guitar. I instantly became consumed with an obsession to hear the other 8 songs on the LP.

Almost four months later, I listen to For Emma, Forever Ago at least once a day. I feel no need to write extensively about the music itself or the setting it was written in. I'll just say that Justin Vernon overcomes every bearded-guy-with-an-acoustic-guitar cliche: the lyrics are obtuse but not distractingly so, the music is melancholy but never self-pitying, and their is just enough clitter clatter orchestration to give new perspective on what it means to be a modern troubadour.

I saw Bon Iver open for Black Mountain at the Bowery a few months back. Pitchfork.tv caught them both at the Glasslands Gallery recently.

Mandatory viewing of the aforementioned show:

Song Review: Bruce Springsteen- "Girls in Their Summer Clothes"

When the Boss released Magic in 2007 and revealed that he recorded an homage to classic indie rockers/conceptional pop-sters the Magnetic Fields, I scoffed. Bruce's blue collar machismo and penchant for big rock seemed to be directly at odds with the Magnetic Fields' traditional lo-fi melancholy. On the other hand, Born to Run and the Fields both share an affection for wall of sound production and Springsteen is smart to emphasis this similarity by layering the song with thick crisp synthetic strings and lush acoustic guitars. Bruce sings in each line in a detached melancholy keeping the song structures pretty simple. At this point, he can write a song this simple in his sleep and since this is merely a genre exercise (much like 69 Love Songs) lines like "She went away/she cut me like a knife" are forgiveable. There is something human and touching about the narrator's resignation to being a mere onlooker, which subtly acknowledges the Boss' age without every having to be explicit.

Music Review Review: Death Cab For Cutie's Narrow Stairs

Who doesn't like doing a little internet research?

To clarify: I woke up late this morning and was running through my AM internet routine, Sunday afternoon style. I came across the new Death Cab for Cutie album, Narrow Stairs, and couldn't help but download it (thanks Part of the Queue). As the opening track, "Bixby Canyon Bridge" ended in a squeal of distortion and echoed vocals, I couldn't help but wonder how Death Cab's rabid teenage fanbase and the Stereogum set were going to react to Gibbard's second major label attempt to be successful while trying to remain relevant in the current indie music landscape. One Google Blog search later I came across three reviews of Narrow Stairs that reminded where I landed on the "blogs as new journalism" argument.

Did Cameron Crowe's over the top optimism and aw schucks version of rock and roll journalism (or at least how it is portrayed in Almost Famous) affect enough suburban philistines that the world now has to endure dozens of record reviews that sophomorically let me know how the listener can relate to Ben Gibbard's every sneeze and sniffle? Apparently, yes.

If you read enough of these reviews, you'd know why Gibbard is so admired as a wordsmith. You'd also realize that either certain reviewers don't know the meaning of smarmy or have never listened to music.

Excerpts (verbatim):

Colin's Life in Music on Narrow Stairs:

• "I have just had an experience which i wish that I could somehow convey to others and hopefully have them experience the same. Only once before, I believe that I have had this experience but when you are amidst it and completely aware. The essence of this experience is hearing sonic capability and realizing it for its true beauty and no more.
• "When the song had finished and the album had come to an end, within the next ten minutes as I lay there motionless, these words poured into my brain and I realized the true beauty of this album."
• On opening track, "Bixby Canyon Bridge": "This track sets the mood for the album with enough ambiance and structure at the same time, creating a perfect balance. An ambient intro which leads into a structured song which eventually dissolves into an ambient and chaotic outro with a structured and melodic vocal line which eases the song out."

Consequence of Sound on Narrow Stairs:

• "These are songs bred in rhythm and saturated in rich melodies."
• "To be blunt, Narrow Stairs represents another bold attempt as the band continues to embrace the idea that their own smarmy drama pop should be less abrasive and grander on a scale both lyrically and instrumentally."
• "Would it be fair to judge the album based on its lyrics? In a way, no. After all, Gibbard isn’t the only member of the band; however, its hard to feel fresh when there are songs still about reigniting romance with someone else or dealing with ill fated conflicts on a day to day basis. Then again, isn’t that why anyone listens to Death Cab for Cutie?
• "There’s a sense of escape and parallelism in our lives that runs its course with Gibbard’s own, even if we’re not venturing into Kerouac caravaning lifestyles and soul searching on our free time."
• "Now to summarize, Narrow Stairs is another glossy volume of the same self introspective dramedies, which continues Gibbard’s plight in digging deeper than he really has to in life. He should be careful, though, because if one digs too far, they’re likely to strike rock and by then, they’re in too deep."

Living with Style on Narrow Stairs:

• "Death Cab for Cutie is known for writing lyrics with general analogies that express the emotions that they have felt in experiences they themselves have had in life. Like any artist, creating a song about a certain emotion is much easier when they've experienced it themselves. But Death Cab doesn't write it in such a way that makes it very blunt, and you think "Oh, okay, so the guy is singing about breaking up" type of deal, or at least, not to often. Rather, Ben (The vocalist), like I said before, often uses simple or complicated analogies that one may not pick up right away, about the way he felt when something happened."
• "To the initial listener, the song may seem very vague, but once the lyrics have been read, it becomes very clear what the writer is trying to say. It is this type of writing, that in their attempt, can create an image and story in your mind that can make their music so much more than just a song about an experience."
• "The album itself isn't full of technical fretwork and crazy beats, but the straightforward drive of the well put together music accompanies the lyrics themselves. Most of the tracks on the album are what you'd expect for an indie album, with drums, piano, a synthesizer and the high and smooth vocals of Ben Gibbard, but it also features songs such as "You Can Do Better than Me" that have a more vintage feel by adding different effects. Although I myself am not too much a fan of this type of change in the occasional song, the song itself is still okay."
• "For a first time listener, Narrow Stairs may not provide much to the listener due to it's deeper and more subtle talent which can be found in quiet background accompaniment, or complicated imagery, but it can also be a listening experience that can be full of emotion regardless if you know what the writer is talking about or not due to how the music is written."

Film Review: "Hannah Takes the Stairs" (dir. Joe Swanberg)

There is no hiding the fact that about four months a year I get obsessed with the New Yorker. It becomes all I want to read and I want all of my friends to read it so we can stop discussing Gossip Girl. Or at the very least, discuss the article about Gossip Girl in the New Yorker. During one of my recent New Yorker phases, I was discussing a short story that dealt with a college aged Indian boy dealing with his widowed father's new ethnic wife and her two children with my date for evening. Initially impressed by her enthusiasm for my stuffy lit mag of choice, I was crushed when she told me that she didn't like the story at all. It wasn't because she thought it was poor written or boring; it was because in the stories' emotional payoff the lead character verbally lashes the two children. Although I didn't find this scene to be endearing on any level, it provided a release of emotions for a deeply saddened young man who was struggling with mortality, tradition and moving on from his mother's death. It didn't make the lead character a hero but it did make him human.

The greatest every comedy, Arrested Development was constantly criticized and subsequently cancelled because the characters were not likeable enough. Even 30 Rock was nitpicked for the show's initial mean streak, which was gradually adjusted throughout the first season through a deliberate humanization of the main characters.

Yet, there still remains a certain place in the general public's heart for total reckless abandon. No one seems to criticize Bukowski or Hunter S. Thompson's wanton decisions and Pete Doherty is (re)known(ed) in America only for his drug use and ramshackle relationships. Let's not even start on Amy Winehouse or the world's obsession with the mafia lifestyle and Grand Theft Auto.

What this says to me is that people can deal with bad decisions on a massive, life altering scale but have no tolerance for the kinds of bad decisions people make everyday. This seems tragic: there is much to be learned from watching flawed people make the kinds of mistakes you might make or conversely, the kinds of mistakes you'd never make.

After I watched Joe Swanberg's latest mumblecore film, Hannah Takes the Stairs, I did my typical internet research and found that it was both critically and "commercially" panned. If I am to believe the dozens of Netflix reviews that proclaimed that Hannah is the worst ever movie, the main reason seems to be that the title character is an unlikeable mess. And they aren't wrong. With her bleached pixie haircut and thin beautiful lips, Hannah (Greta Gerwig), is confused, confusing and at times, grating. She begins the movie jealous of her uninspired musician boyfriend Mike (Mark Duplass) and ends the movie playing the trumpet (not a metaphor) with a different (kind of) suitor, Matt (Kent Osbourne). Somewhere in the middle, she also dates Matt's partner, mumblecore's patron saint, Andrew Bujakski (playing Paul). Since the movie is less than 90 minutes, you see Hannah spend roughly 25 minutes with each suitor.

Throughout the movie Hannah makes the kinds of selfish day to day decisions that young people in America make every single day and yet, the film is derided for this authenticity. Hannah reminds me of so many friends that I've had over the years that jump from relationship to relationship, inexplicitly falling for different people everytime. She is the kind of person where her identity and happiness revolve around the person she is dating. At the same time, she seems to date people she admires, only to become petty and jealous when those traits don't seem to rub off on her. She is frustrated when she isn't as charming as Mike and seems to be drawn to Paul simply because he is an up and coming filmmaker.

Once the novelty of the handheld camerawork and improvised dialogue wears off, the viewer is left with another compelling drama about human relationships. While Mike is charming, the movie really belongs to Hannah and Paul since their entire relationship takes place on screen. As their office romance unfolds, their attraction, although unlikely, is understandable. Paul is bumbling, funny and his nonchalant attitude towards possible success is an aphrodisiac as old as the wheel. As the movie progresses and Hannah likes Paul less and less, the film seems to portray him as more unlikeable. Did he change or does the film's tone mirror Hannah's feelings for her suitors? Similarly, Matt seems like a crushing bore during the film's first half but warms up as Hannah's lust for him increases: while Matt once was droll and robotic he turns out to be quirky and disarming. Or perhaps Matt was initially droll towards Hannah and Paul due to his overwhelming jealousy of Hannah?

Unsurprisingly, none of the character's motivations are revealed, justified or forgiven, adding yet another layer of realism to an already emotionally barren film. In many ways, the three men's personalities are besides the point: Hannah is addicted to the lustful rush that comes with creating a connection but lacks the patience to take that connection anywhere significant. She is the polar opposite of Lola, the main character in Spike Lee's She's Gotta Have It! But rather than jump from man to man, Lola used many men she admired in different ways to create one "whole" relationship.

As an unabashed fan of mumblecore in both theory and execution, I can say that this film stands right next to Funny Ha Ha as one of the best of these films, although it never reaches the transcendence of Mutual Appreciation. There is a certain irony that most of the genre gets written off as lazy when this collaborative (almost all the actors are given some writing credit) team continues to buck every modern cinematic convention. Instead of using nudity as some shameful Apatowian joke, it's used in Hannah Takes the Stairs to convey intimacy. It's nice to watch a film that acknowledges the postmodern ritual of peeing in front of your significant without resorting to a punchline with the word "pubes" in it. Besides, it's refreshing to watch a movie where the covers aren't always conveniently placed, whether it be over body parts or the characters.